Generally, I’m a pretty positive person.  And I’m going to go ahead and pat myself on the back for having been pretty cool about this whole moving to Brazil thing.  I think I’ve handled it really well.  And for the most part – for the first 7 months – it wasn’t THAT tough because I was genuinely happy and super excited to be here.  It was a decision that Michael and I made together, after careful thought and much prayer.  It was an opportunity that Michael worked many long hours to make happen.  And it was an adventure.  For us.  Together.  And I love a good adventure!

Then came 7 months.  The 7 Month Slump.  Suddenly – and it was literally overnight – I started getting frustrated so easily by the big and the little things about life in Brazil.  The streets are dirty, people are always smoking, the air is terribly polluted, it smells bad, everything is extremely overpriced, our apartment layout is weird, I don’t have a real job, things never work right, everything is ten times more difficult and more bureaucratic than it should be, the internet is always kicking me offline, I’m living permanently without a microwave, a dryer & a disposal, my oven is too small to fit a regular cookie sheet and my dishwasher, well, you can see what I am working with here, I miss my friends and family from home and sometimes Portuguese really gets on my nerves.  UGH.

I love that this graph is called the “Happy Meter” and that it describes the slump as “Hostility” which I think is pretty accurate.

Poor Michael — for a couple of weeks every little thing about Brazil and our life here was getting to me.  I just didn’t feel relaxed — it was almost like I was waiting for something to happen (like for us to MOVE) but there was nothing to wait for.  We were not moving and this country was not changing.

Throughout life we are called, over and over, to make the choice to persevere in love through difficulty and challenges.  Just because something is hard – be it a job, a marriage, children, friendships, pursuing a dream – it doesn’t mean that you’re doing it wrong or even that you necessarily need to change anything.  Sometimes things are hard because you’re doing them RIGHT.  I mean, some things are just tough.  So although it was a challenge, it was also an opportunity to practice choosing joy and making the best of something that I wasn’t FEELING that great about.

We have now been in Brazil for over 8 months and I can confidently say that I am the happiest here yet and there is nowhere else I would rather be.  I know that it’s not always this quick and easy to “bounce back” from something and I know that this challenge was small compared to all of the problems out there – and for that I am truly thankful! – but for me it was a good reminder that love and joy are not always feelings but are often choices made in opposition to our feelings.  The hope is that these choices eventually do lead to a change of heart and renewed feelings, but that is not the goal.  The goal is to be obedient to God’s call on our lives.

Anyway, I know that all of this is a normal part of adjusting to life in a new country, and somehow, after coming out of it, I feel much more settled here.  More content.  More permanent.  More at home.

OK.  So, a lot of people have written me saying something along the lines of, “I love your blog, it’s great to keep up with what you guys are doing.  But HONESTLY…how are you REALLY doing with it all??  How do you really like it?  How do you really feel?”

The truth may surprise you, but we REALLY LIKE IT.  Michael and I are really happy and we are really happy HERE.

To be honest, I didn’t know how I would like living in Brazil, I mean, I had never been here until we stepped off the plane almost 2 months ago.  I had never spoken Portuguese.  I didn’t have a job lined up.  With the exception of Michael’s brother, Joe, I didn’t know anyone.  So in most ways it felt like a pretty big leap of faith to move here.  But it was a carefully contemplated and thoroughly prayed over leap.  And while I didn’t exactly know what I was getting myself into, I knew that I didn’t know.  What I mean is that I knew that what laid ahead was an adventure.  I knew that I would need to be flexible, patient and not too serious.  I knew that simple things would suddenly become difficult.  I knew that I was leaving my career behind and that I would feel dependent on Michael in a new way (that is not necessarily a fun way).  I knew that I would feel lonely and miss my friends and family…  So although I didn’t know WHAT to expect, I think I knew HOW to expect it.

And it turns out that while simple things ARE difficult and I AM dependent on Michael, while I DON’T have a career here and I DO miss my family and friends…it has actually been fun.  No, I should say it IS fun.  We are really enjoying the day-to-day and we KNOW that this is the right place for us right now.  Michael and I are constantly saying to each other that we can’t believe we are really here, doing this.  I mean, I get to be on this great adventure in a really cool city with my best friend.  We have met a ton of awesome people – expats and Brazilians.  Honestly, I feel incredibly LUCKY that Michael is working so hard to provide us with this amazing experience.  And I know that he feels lucky too, that I am supporting him in as he goes after his dreams.  Maybe I expected it to be harder than it is, living here.  And there are definitely moments when it’s difficult.  But I think that’s more just LIFE than Brazil.  I mean come on, life is just tough sometimes, right??

I will say that I have cried ONE TIME since we landed in Brazil.  Only once, but it was a big one.  It was about a week after we had moved here, Michael had started working, and I felt sadness about the “loss” of my career and confusion about my place here.  I think that at this age and especially in big cities, we tend to place a lot of value on being BUSY all of the time.  It makes us feel important.  And the reality is that I’m just not that busy here. I have FREE TIME.  And free time might sound nice, but I bet if a lot of you had free time for a month straight, you might feel a little insecure.  A little like, “What the eff am I doing?”  So I was feeling that way.  But, it has truly been a blessing to me.  It revealed to me that I was finding some of my value in places that were neither real nor lasting versus in Christ.  A friend once told me that business [of activity] is sometimes a mask for laziness of mind and spirit.  I have definitely been guilty of that and I feel like over the past few months God has been sloooowing me down.  Not just for the sake of slowing down and stepping back.  But stepping back in order to step TOWARD Him.  After all, that is what we see Jesus doing throughout His life.  Taking time to withdraw not just to “get away” but to get closer to God.  And so this is what I have been learning lately, or trying to learn.

Clearly I do not mean that working or being busy are negative things.  (In fact this may be the busiest time in Michael’s career.)  I think it’s normal for me to feel sad about not being able to continue my career AND I feel confident that over time I will find my place here more and more.  I’m just saying that right now, for me, this time has been a blessing and God is using it to grow me in new ways.  To grow me in my love for Him, my trust in Him, and my security in His promises.  Which makes me all the more thankful to be here, and all the more certain that this is right.

So.  THAT is the real deal. 

Well, we are.  To São Paulo.  In January (fingers crossed, pending any Visa issues).  “Why?” you may ask.  Well, the story starts long ago…

Michael grew up taking family trips to Mexico learning Spanish (what a great idea for family vacay’s!).  He also lived in Arizona which has a strong Hispanic community so Spanish was a part of his life from the beginning.  He continued studying Spanish in school and in college he spent a semester studying abroad in Madrid, Spain.  Between undergrad and law school, Michael decided to spend a year abroad and really focus on his Spanish fluency.  He considered Spain but his big brother Joe had passed through Argentina and suggested he look there.  And so he spent the next year falling in love with Latin America and mastering the Spanish language.  He returned to DC for law school but managed to spend his first summer working for a law firm in Costa Rica.  After graduation he moved out to San Francisco, yet his heart for South America only grew and he came to the realization that ultimately he wants his career to be about this region of the world, one way or another.  His work provided him with opportunities to work on matters in Spanish and travel a bit, but when he heard that his law firm, Jones Day, was opening an office in São Paulo…there was no stopping him.  It was actually an amazing thing to watch.  It was like Michael put on blinders and with a laser focus, started teaching himself Portuguese, familiarizing himself with the region, and even published an article on Brazil’s Antitrust Legal system.  And then, the hard work paid off when his office granted him the opportunity to transfer.

At this point, Michael is conversational in Portuguese and feels confident he’ll be fluent within a couple of months on the ground.  I know how to say a few key words like “fish,” “sandwich,” “driving,” …all of the important things you need to get around.  But I am diligently studying with Rosetta Stone.

Pending any Visa issues, we are hoping to fly directly after the New Year and start getting acclimated.  It typically takes about 3 months to ship & receive stuff so we will likely start off in furnished housing or a hotel and will then hunt for our apartment.

So that’s the story and the update on where we are in the process.  I know that it will be an adjustment full of challenges and that I’ll miss my family, friends, and the greatest country on earth, but I am SO excited for the adventure ahead and so grateful that God has prepared this path for us and us for this path.

I hope that this blog will help me capture some final memories in San Francisco and then will serve as a way to document the journey ahead.  Thanks for joining us!  🙂